Redefining Perfectionism

In this episode of the Writing Momentum Podcast, hosts Christopher and Gena Maselli delve into the topic of perfectionism among writers. They share personal anecdotes and struggles with perfectionism, emphasizing the importance of pushing through the writing process despite the desire for everything to be perfect. The episode covers various aspects of perfectionism, such as the challenges in starting or finishing a project, the pitfalls of waiting for ‘perfect’ conditions, and practical tips for moving forward. They discuss tactics like time blocking, setting realistic writing goals, and allowing for flexibility in planning and execution. The goal of the episode is to help writers redefine perfectionism from getting it ‘right’ to getting it ‘done’ and to encourage them to maintain momentum in their writing projects by providing strategies to overcome perfectionism.

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• [00:00] Welcome to the Writing Momentum Podcast!
• [00:13] Tackling Perfectionism: Personal Struggles and Insights
• [02:24] Types of Perfectionism and Strategies for Authors
• [06:32] Navigating Perfectionism in the Writing Process
• [10:26] Time Management and Overcoming Procrastination
• [12:24] Plotting vs. Pantsing: Finding Your Writing Direction
• [15:05] Redefining Perfectionism for Success
• [16:21] Join Our Writing Community and Wrap-Up

LINKS:

• Liz Wilcox’s Email Marketing Membership at http://wmdeal.com/liz
• Get your FREE Move the Needle goal-setting for authors ebook at https://www.writingmomentum.com
• Write with us! Join Chris, Gena, and Rene each Wednesday at noon Central and let’s get our writing DONE! https://www.writingmoments.com

episode 118 transcription:

[[00:00:00] Gena: How do you deal with perfectionism as a writer? 

[[00:00:02] Christopher: We can help with that.

[00:00:06] Christopher: Hello and welcome to the Writing Momentum Podcast. I'm Christopher Maselli. I'm here with 

[[00:00:10] Gena: Gena Maselli, his wife. 

[[00:00:12] Christopher: All right. Hey, today we are talking about perfectionism, which is appropriate because we just did this intro 26 times. 

[00:00:20] Gena: We did it several times and we realized about halfway through that, yes, we're talking about perfectionism, but our intro isn't perfect.

[[00:00:28] Gena: So we start again. 

[[00:00:30] Christopher: Yeah. Do you ever deal with perfectionism as an author, as a writer? 

[00:00:33] Gena: Yes, I deal with perfectionism as a writer. In fact, I was thinking about this and I was thinking about when I have dealt with perfectionism as a writer. And I think there have been times when I have worked on projects where I have just gotten stuck because I wasn't satisfied with where it was.

[00:00:51] Gena: And you have told me and have taught me as well as our writing partner, Rene Gutteridge. I [00:01:00] say writing partner. She's a collaborator with us. She, you have both told me you just got to keep going. That's been the mantra is just keep going. Just keep writing. And I found that you're right, that when I just keep going, I will often all of a sudden have this breakthrough moment where all of a sudden I see where the threads have been.

[00:01:22] Gena: That the threads that haven't come together. I see how I can bring them together and it all comes together so 

[00:01:29] Christopher: that's good 

[[00:01:29] Gena: How about you? 

[00:01:30] Christopher: No, not me. I've never 

[00:01:31] Gena: You've never dealt with perfectionism? 

[[00:01:33] Christopher: Yeah, 

[00:01:33] Gena: Considering I live with you. I know that's not true 

[00:01:36] Christopher: Yeah, I deal with perfectionism and then I try to make sure all of my ducks are in a row before I move to the next thing. So I won't start on project B until A is completely finished.

[00:01:48] Christopher: And sometimes you have to work on things in tandem. And and I am waiting for that perfect moment before I'm like, okay, now I can get ready with the next one. And that's perfectionism too. 

[00:01:59] Gena: It [00:02:00] is. And it can be, it can be stifling or stalling because as soon as you get all those decks in a row. More ducks come and so you're constantly trying to get the ducks in a row and constantly get them and so then you can it can be where you never actually get to that project that you're wanting to work on or that next project that you need to work on.

[00:02:23] Christopher: Yeah. So today we're going to talk about some of the different types of perfectionism that we, you may encounter as an author and a writer and maybe some strategies of how to work through those things. So one of the first ways that you might find yourself dealing with perfectionism is just in beginning or ending the work that you're working on your work in progress.

[00:02:47] Christopher: When perfectionism gets a hold of you, you might find it hard to even start writing in the first place. Or you may find it hard to actually finish that book. And it's often because [00:03:00] we're trying to make everything perfect. Perfect, right? We're trying to make it on that first draft through make everything perfect before we move on and doing that is Way to almost ensure that you won't finish your book 

[00:03:14] Gena: I think that is and I think that's what Chris and I are wanting it to help you do is to identify that what you're really dealing with here in these moments is perfectionism.

[00:03:25] Gena: That when you are thinking about a project that you're wanting to start, maybe a book, or maybe you're thinking about starting that blog that you need to keep up regularly and you start thinking about it in terms of I don't know if my idea is original enough. I don't know if I can figure out how it's going to end or how I'm going to wrap it up.

[00:03:45] Gena: Those kind of thoughts, if you find yourself ruminating on that I really want to do this, but I just don't know. It's not quite there yet. My idea isn't quite there. If you're stuck at that level or at that place, [00:04:00] you're probably dealing with this perfectionism of it has to be perfect before I even start.

[00:04:05] Christopher: Yeah. The questions that perfectionism brings up aren't necessarily wrong questions to have, right? We all question at times, okay, what should happen next in my story? What should happen at the end of this chapter? Those are good questions to have. That's not perfectionism. Perfectionism is saying, I'm going to think about this over and over again and not let go and not move forward because it's not perfect.

[[00:04:31] Christopher: Instead, I encourage you just to go ahead and plow through it. 

[00:04:36] Gena: Definitely. And I, we were talking before we turned the camera on, we were talking about a moment that I've recently had where I was stuck in a project and I was trying to pull it together and I could just tell it was lagging. Like it wasn't just, it just wasn't coming together. And I listened to what Chris and Rene said and I just kept working on it and just kept working on it. And all of a sudden I, [00:05:00] after I've worked on it for quite a while and not worked on, we'll also get to the reworking the same thing over and over.

[00:05:07] Gena: That's not what I'm talking about, but I just continued with the project. And as I've continued, I've realized all of a sudden I had that spark and it just, I was like, Oh, I know it's, I know what's missing here. And I had to go back. And, but it's been an easy fix once I was able to do it, but I would not have gotten to the fix if I had not continued to press through and continue to write.

[00:05:31] Gena: And so that's just an important part of not letting the perfectionism get the best of you. 

[00:05:38] Christopher: The inspiration came as you worked through the writing process, not before the writing process began. And that's what often happens is we wait for the inspiration to hit and then before we move forward with our writing.

[00:05:54] Christopher: And that's, we need to be careful about doing that. Instead, go ahead and, even if it's not perfect, even if it's [00:06:00] not that golden thread that you want to have happen in your plot, Just move ahead with it and see maybe if it works, right? Try some different things. Does that mean you're going to have pages that you don't use in your final project?

[00:06:13] Christopher: Yes. But do you know what happens when you finish with your first draft? You're always going to have pages you don't use. You're always going to have material you don't use. That doesn't mean it goes to waste. It just means that it was something you had to work through and it was an exercise for you. So count it a blessing and instead just keep moving forward.

[00:06:32] Gena: So what does perfectionism look like in the middle of a project? We've shared what I just went through working through it, but what also can happen? 

[00:06:41] Christopher: Often what happens is it just stops you in your tracks. You think, Oh, I don't know what needs to happen next. Or I don't know how to make this sentence perfect.

[00:06:49] Christopher: You can get perfectionists and Perfectionism can stop you on a per sentence level, right? It can stop you just as you're [[00:07:00] writing a sentence, or a paragraph, or a scene, or a chapter. It can stop you anywhere. And it, I feel like it sounds like such an easy solution of just keep writing.

[00:07:11] Christopher: Just write through. But that really is the answer. The answer is to just keep going. Not stop, take a deep breath, Think about it a while. I encourage you just to keep moving. You can think about it. I'm not saying don't think about it, but I'm saying don't let it stop you from what you're doing.

[00:07:31] Christopher: Don't let your writing session go to waste. Keep working and often the inspiration will come as you work. 

[00:07:38] Gena: And I even know of writers, and I've done this myself, that when I come to a point and I think Maybe I need a metaphor here, or I need a simile here, or I need to describe this a little bit more, or I need to do a little bit of research so I can really make this scene pop, or I can really make this article come together. When I've [00:08:00] been in those moments, I will sometimes put brackets on my page and I will type in brackets of what I in within the brackets, I'll put what I need to do need metaphor or find metaphor or research this or whatever. And I'll do that. And then I'll just keep going.

[00:08:17] Gena: Knowing that when I come back at a later date, Two things are happening. One, when I come back at a later date, I have it I'm able, usually when I come to it, I've got more time. I'm not in this writing flow. I've got more time to stop and think about it or to research it. But the other thing that happens, I have found personally, is that my mind on a subconscious level is working on that already.

[00:08:41] Gena: So when I come back to it again, it's not this huge stumbling block. All of a sudden, it's a, Oh yeah, and something will come to me. That metaphor will come to me. That just that line that is so much better than what I had originally come up with, or maybe something else will happen. That all [00:09:00] of a sudden it's like the magic has happened there.

[[00:09:02] Gena: Not because I let it stop me, but because my subconscious was already working on that problem. 

[00:09:10] Christopher: Yeah. What you just said, it was really good. And I don't want to let that slip by. When you're writing your manuscript, and you're typing, and you're in a flow, if you come to a point that you feel like you need to stop, instead of stopping, put bracket, and then type what you want to think about, put bracket again, and then continue.

[00:09:32] Christopher: What you can do then later is you can search your manuscript for the bracket symbol. And when you do, you'll find that note to yourself. The other thing you can do is if you want to, you can highlight it in yellow. That way your eyes will quickly see it when you're scrolling through your manuscript. Or you can even use the comment feature.

[00:09:51] Christopher: By doing any one of those three things, you'll be able to find those pain points in your manuscript quickly and address them at a later date without stopping your flow. [[00:10:00] 

[00:10:00] Gena: Definitely. I love that you call those pain points because I think that's really what it is. It's that point where you know, this isn't quite what I want it to be.

[00:10:10] Gena: I have an idea, so I'm going to make a note to myself. I'm going to remind myself that this was not quite right. and what I feel or I think is missing here. And then moving on and then coming back to it. That's, I love that. Because it is a pain point, , it's very painful. 

[[00:10:26] Christopher: Another place that I often get stopped is I try to make sure everything else on my to-do list is done.

[[00:10:34] Gena: Which is what he said.

[00:10:34] Christopher: Before I continue that, and I said that at the beginning, and the reason I do that is because I like to make sure all my boxes are checked sometimes. All your boxes can't be checked if you want to actually make progress on your writing. So don't let your to do list hang over your head. Go ahead and just make your writing one of the items on your to do list.

[00:10:55] Christopher: But not just a to do list item, make it an appointment in your calendar. And when you do that, [00:11:00] you will have the time that you have to sit down, do your writing and you'll get it done. 

[00:11:04] Gena: Yeah, that's really, it's called time blocking, right? You are blocking out a time and there's something that happens when you put some, when you put an appointment on your calendar that Not only are you able to say, I'm not going to let anything else be in there because I've designated that time.

[00:11:22] Gena: But I think there's something mental that happens for me personally that I feel like I'm giving myself permission. We have done that in a few different ways. Even rest time. We do that. We block out time that we're like, this is going to be, we're not going to work because Chris and I can get caught up in feeling like we should work.

[00:11:43] Gena: If you find yourself feeling like you should be doing something, or whatever that comes with that. Giving yourself that time block, Oh I want to be writing, but I've got to be working on this project for work, or I've got to be working on this project for our family or [00:12:00] whatever. Somehow by putting it in your calendar and saying, no, for this hour, for this 30 minutes, even I'm going to just allow myself to write because that's my appointment.

[00:12:10] Gena: Somehow it gives you permission. Okay. It on a, again, subconscious level that it gives us permission to say, no, I'm doing the right thing because that's what this time is for. 

[00:12:24] Christopher: Yes. And another tool that we often use to combat perfectionism is to have a little bit of direction of where we're going when we're writing.

[00:12:33] Christopher: Some people like to write without any direction at all and that's fine, but then you have to understand you're going to get stuck a little more, right? So what I like to do is I like to plot out Point by point, beat by beat, exactly what I'm gonna do. I'll write down my plot points and then I'll follow those when I write.

[00:12:48] Christopher: Even when I write short stories, I wrote a short story this week, a mystery. And as I was writing it, or really before I wrote it, I wrote down every single beat of the mystery. [00:13:00] So my outline for a, I think it was a three page short story, was about a page and a half. Which, I know, that's a little much for a lot of people, but to me, then after that plot was finished, the writing, I finished it in 45 minutes, right?

[00:13:15] Christopher: I finished the whole story because I had plotted it out. Now, you don't have to do it to that detail if that's not the way you work. But you do need to know, when you're writing a chapter or a scene, Where you're going with that scene, if you know that, then you won't find yourself getting stuck so much because you'll have already thought through the pain point, right?

[00:13:35] Gena: And I'm going to say that is great for you because you are a very detailed plotter and I love it. But if you are a more intuitive writer and you're more of a pantser, then I think it's still good for you to know the direction you're going to go. But then again, just give yourself the freedom to know that this is where I'm going.

[00:13:54] Gena: Okay. My, my character or my story or my whatever needs to go end here, or [00:14:00] these are the points that I need to include. And then start giving yourself the permission to move through it and you're going to intuitively feel that. And I say that because I am, I'm half. I do a little bit, I do plotting.

[00:14:13] Gena: I also do some pantsing. I'm intuitive enough that sometimes I will start with an outline, but I do give myself permission to let myself feel my way through it because sometimes it starts going in a different direction. What I then just do is even if I've done an outline and my outlines are not as detailed as what yours are But I will go back and just do a check mark on my outline to make sure I've hit all of the product at all The points I do this for magazine articles or for web articles where I will Outline them and then go back at the end and just check to make sure I've hit all the points Even if what my final product is not exactly like my outline.

[00:14:57] Gena: And so it works for both. You just, [00:15:00] what Chris's point is, what my point would be is that you have to have a direction of where you're going. 

[00:15:05] Christopher: Yes. So one last point we want to make, and that is if you're a perfectionist and you're going to be a perfectionist as you're writing. Yeah, both of us are, but if you're a perfectionist, here's one of the the biggest, best mindset changes you can make. Redefine what perfectionism is to you. Perfectionism is not getting it right, it's getting it done. If you go into your project not saying, I have to get it right, but just that I have to get it done, you can achieve that point of perfection. If you say, my goal today is to write for 45 minutes, that's something you can achieve.

[00:15:48] Christopher: You may not be able to achieve getting it all perfect, all right, but if your goal is to write for 45 minutes, you could do that, and that can be a perfect writing session for you. Or maybe your goal [00:16:00] is a thousand words, or just moving forward, getting the next scene done. You can achieve that, and you'll find success there.

[00:16:08] Christopher: So think about what is perfectionism to you when you sit down to write, and don't make it, getting it right, make getting it done. 

[00:16:16] Gena: Absolutely. That's really good. 

[00:16:18] Christopher: That's good. 

[00:16:18] Gena: It's really good. 

[[00:16:19] Christopher: Gena, you want to close this out? 

[[00:16:21] Gena: We thank you so much for joining us here at the Writing Momentum podcast.

[00:16:24] Gena: Again, this is Chris Maselli. I'm Gena Maselli. We're so glad you were here. We don't take it for granted that you spent some time with us today. And whether you're watching us on YouTube or whether you're listening to us on a podcast app, We're just really thankful, and we're just, what did you want to say there?

[00:16:41] Christopher: I was just going to say, we'd love to write with you too. If you want to have some friends to write with, we have a writing group that happens every Wednesday at noon central, and you can find out more about that at writingmomentum. com. Come and write with us, we have a good group of people, and we love just writing together for an hour every Wednesday on our individual projects, but it helps [[00:17:00] keep ourselves accountable.

[[00:17:01] Gena: Yeah, it does. And it comes with about 10 to 15 minutes of training on writing from either Chris, me or Rene Gutteridge. And so hopefully those little nuggets can help just propel you forward. And then we co write together for 45 minutes and we have had several people now finish their books by co writing and by just keeping it in front of them, keeping their vision and their goal in front of them.

[00:17:27] Gena: It's really a powerful thing. So please come join us. And if you would take the time to review this podcast or to rate it, ring that bell too, to find out when new Podcasts are drop we drop them every week and also subscribe to this podcast. We'd love to Be able to connect with you. And if you have questions, please reach out to us at writingmomentum.com because together Chris 

[[00:17:54] Christopher: We have writing momentum. 

[00:17:55] Gena: That's right!