How to Outsmart Your Writing Fears–and Win

As writers, we face quite a few common fears. But we can outsmart them…and WIN! In this episode of the Writing Momentum podcast, Chris and Gena talk about three more fears writers face: Criticism, Success, and Time Management. Join us and discover how to overcome these fears and get your writing done!

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LINKS:

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• Write with us! Join Chris, Gena, and Rene each Wednesday at noon Central and let’s get our writing DONE! https://www.writingmoments.com

Episode 73 transcription:

[00:00:00] Gena: Hi, welcome to the Writing Momentum Podcast. I'm Gena Maselli, and this is my husband Christopher Maselli. And we're talking today about how to outsmart your writing fears and win.

[00:00:20] Christopher: Yeah, we've talked about fears now for the past two podcasts, we've talked about six different fears. It's been really eye-opening.

[00:00:27] Christopher: It's funny, the more we talk about these. Maybe funny is not the word it's scary, how many writing fears there are, right? How many things that as we've been talking about 'em, we're like, oh, but what about this also? What about that? And so we're gonna try and cover all these because I think these are fears that are very common to writers.

[[00:00:44] Christopher: We all face these. Gena and I have been writing for well over what, 50 combined years together easily. 

[00:00:51] Gena: We're heading towards you've been writing almost 30 years, I've been writing over 20 years and so.

[[00:00:57] Christopher: Well over 50 then. 

[00:00:58] Gena: We've got some decades [[00:01:00] under our belt here that were coming in. 

[00:01:02] Christopher: And we've met a lot of writers who have had fears that have had to work through things, and we've talked to them about those. And so we're trying to include all those things in these episodes. And yeah, as we do, it's eye-opening. 

[00:01:13] Gena: It is because we've, as we've talked, as you said, we finished three and then we said we could do three more. And we did those three. And then we said okay, we're gonna finish with the final three.

[00:01:24] Gena: And we did that. And then as we were preparing for that, we said, but we never talked about this and we never talked about that. So we came up with three more that we could do. And some of them overlap, but they really are different. Each one of these is different and, but when they work together, they can really paralyze you as a writer, and that's what we want to help you get past. 

[00:01:47] Gena: One. I really believe that when it comes to fear that it's the kind of thing that if you can shine a light on it, then you know that you're not alone. That's what we want you to [[00:02:00] know, is that if you are a writer who is struggling with getting your work done for some reason, we wanna shine that light on it to let you know that you are not alone.

[00:02:10] Gena: And how we have seen to work through these fears. And I'll be honest, some of these fears we are still working through. We're still working through them ourselves. And you know what? I don't think it's gonna be one of these things that we're ever gonna be like, yeah, never have to worry about that again.

[00:02:27] Gena: I don't think that's gonna be it. I just think that as we get more experience under our belt and we have more successes and failures that we come out of it and say, okay. Okay, we got writer's block. How are we gonna get through that? Oh, I'm feeling like this fear of vulnerability. Oh, I really hate writing this scene, or this blog, or this chapter because I gotta tackle on this.

[00:02:54] Christopher: Yeah and we hope we're providing some good tactics. These are things that have worked for us over the years, and [00:03:00] if you have a tactic that you've used for any of these fears, we'd love to hear about them. Because I think, there's always different ways that we can work through things.

[00:03:08] Christopher: And so maybe you've got something specific that you're like, oh, that, that works for me or this works and I want to share that. Go ahead and email us and let us know or, post it on our website or wherever you want. We'd love to see it. We'd love to hear it. 

[00:03:20] Gena: Definitely. Let's get started. We talked a little bit about this last time. We're gonna cover it in a little bit more depth now. Is or maybe from just a different angle. And that is the fear of criticism. 

[[00:03:31] Christopher: Yes. Yes. 

[[00:03:31] Gena: Now, this one you see with the fear of rejection. You see it a little bit with the fear of vulnerability.

[[00:03:37] Gena: You see it of the, fearing about being too transparent. But Chris, you specifically had something you wanted to share with us about this fear of criticism. 

[00:03:46] Christopher: Yeah. I think a lot of times when we think of negative feedback, it can so overwhelm our minds that we think that this is something that happens all the time. And the truth is we usually get [00:04:00] far more encouragement than we do criticism. We went to a high Performance Academy event once with Brendon Burchard, and he's a motivational speaker who's just really good. And there were 3000 people in the room. And he said, I'd like to see by a show of hands, how many of you have been just experienced criticism or rejection or harsh feedback at least once in your life.

[00:04:26] Christopher: And of course, all the hands in the room went up 3000 hands. And he said, okay, keep your hands up if you've experienced it five times in your life that you can just really remember. And still a lot of hands were up. And then he said, okay, 10 times, 15 times, 20 times, and as the number went up, the hands started going down.

[00:04:46] Christopher: He got to 25 times and it's hard to think of 25 times that you've been personally criticized or rejected. Then he got up to a hundred and then a thousand and suddenly there's hardly any hands left up in the room. We haven't [00:05:00] really been rejected thousands of times, and yet that's what our mind wants us to think.

[00:05:05] Christopher: So then he flipped the script and he said, okay, how many in this room would say that you've been encouraged at least once in your life? Someone has really encouraged you. Of course, a lot of hands went up. Five times, 10 times, 20 times. And you saw that the hands stayed up. People would say yes.

[00:05:25] Christopher: I've had times where I've been speaking in front of a thousand people and they all gave me a hand clap at the end. They encouraged me. There are far more people that encourage us over our lives than discourage us, and yet we tend to focus just on the criticism. So we encourage you today to think about that for your own writing.

[00:05:43] Christopher: How many times in your writing life have you been discouraged? Have people said they really don't like what you've written? Probably not a whole lot of times, but how many times have people encouraged you and told you that what you've written is really good, that it made them think that they'd like to see more, [[00:06:00] that they gave you some stars on Amazon, right?

[00:06:03] Christopher: You've certainly received a lot more of those, and if you realize that there, that's the true balance that you've received far more encouragement than you have criticism. Man, that's a great way to conquer that fear. 

[00:06:15] Gena: So what you're really telling us is that we need to gain some perspective. 

[[00:06:19] Christopher: Gain perspective.

[[00:06:20] Christopher: Absolutely. We tend to always focus on the negative things they say when you hear something negative, it takes 10 times of hearing something positive to counteract that.

[00:06:29] Christopher: And so that's all we're saying. 

[00:06:30] Gena: And that again, last time I talked about how important it is to be a part of the writing community and the writing world. And by that what we're talking about is being a part of writers groups, online groups, in-person groups, going to writers' conferences, just being around other writers who truly understand these fears and have had to work through them themselves. And when you do that I really think you get in this collaborative environment and this encouraging environment [[00:07:00] that all of a sudden some of the pain of this, these fears or the sting of criticism or rejection, that kind of falls away when you realize how universal it is.

[00:07:11] Gena: How much we are all in that same boat. And there are some stories and there are some people that, that when they have shared their rejection. And these are talented people. These are talented writers who have received, they hit somebody on the wrong day and it was an editor or an agent or a, I don't even know who they all were, but they hit them on the wrong day and that person just unleashed on them.

[00:07:41] Gena: And I do know people who have had those kind of experiences and but then, those same people have mentors who are crazy talented too, who will come back and say, oh my gosh your writing meant so much to me. I see how much you've grown as a [[00:08:00] writer, so I just really encourage you to be a part of the writing community because it will help you gain that perspective.

[00:08:07] Gena: And we're gonna be talking about Writer Con that's coming up over Labor Day this year in Oklahoma City. But if you have not attended a writer's conference, or if you have, but you're looking for another really good one. We just encourage you to come and check that out. Chris and I will both be there.

[00:08:22] Gena: We'd love to meet you. If you are there, please come up to us and introduce yourselves. We'd love to talk to you and just see what you're writing and what your experience has been. But I really encourage you get a part of the writing community in the writing world. 

[00:08:36] Christopher: Yeah. And if you have, if you need someone online to go ahead and write with, we've got writing moments. We'd love to see you there. Go to writing moments.com and you can write with Gena and I and the group of people who show up to that every single week. 

[[00:08:49] Gena: Yeah, definitely. 

[[00:08:50] Christopher: Now a second fear. That is pretty common is, and I think this is more of a subconscious fear, right?

[[00:08:57] Gena: Yeah. 

[00:08:57] Christopher: This is not something that you think is gonna be a [00:09:00] fear, but it does show up. And you know what it usually leads to is procrastination. So this is the fear of success. The fear of not being able to live up to someone's expectations or the expectations of what your book is going to be or to handle the pressure that success might bring to be able to run in the same circles as others who have come before you.

[00:09:23] Christopher: That is a real fear that a lot of writers face. A lot of us face this at one time or another, but like I said, it's not really outward. It's not something that you can usually put a finger on and say, oh, this is something I'm facing right now. It usually just, it's the kind of thing that's there in the background.

[00:09:42] Christopher: And one day you might find yourself procrastinating a lot, and if you really dig into it, you realize, man I'm scared of being successful with this. Like, how, what will life look like if I'm successful? Will I be able to handle that? Will I be worthy of the income, of the fame that might come with it, right?

[00:09:59] Christopher: Of the [00:10:00] attention that it might bring. Will I be comfortable going on the podcast and all that sort of thing? Everything that's part of that, will that be something I can handle? And that's a real common fear. 

[00:10:11] Gena: I would say it's also a fear of if I do one book, is there another book in me?

[[00:10:17] Christopher: Yeah, can I do it again?

[00:10:17] Gena: A second? Can I do that again? That, so yes, that fear of success and all the marketing that is required now as an author. There is, we've talked a lot about it on this podcast and just a lot of what comes with the writing life of having to promote yourself.

[00:10:35] Gena: And that's part of that success journey that you have to traverse if you're gonna be in this. And the thing I would say is that you can take it a little bit at a time. You can step out. And the more you do it, the easier it becomes. And so I think it's one of those things that you can only really overcome it by, by just doing it.

[00:10:57] Gena: I teach a writing class to high schoolers. You've [00:11:00] heard me talk about that if you've listened to this podcast, I teach a writing class to homeschoolers and high school students and each year, and I've done it now for a couple of years. Each year I give them some assignment that's pretty tough.

[00:11:15] Gena: Something that's maybe they have to do a few speeches. This last year it was a few speeches, maybe it's some kind of doing a timed essay test, that kind of thing. And what I tell them is, I say, this is not about perfection. I'm not looking for perfection here. I'm looking for you to gain the confidence of the experience because when you believe that you can do this, the rest is just technique.

[00:11:43] Gena: The rest is learning the technique. It's learning the structure. It's learning that. But when you can sit down and write a solid, essay test in a timed amount and you've got a good structure and you've got strong grammar and you're [00:12:00] able to do that that's great. You've, that's something you've conquered.

[00:12:03] Gena: So it's the same kind of thing with this, you just have to conquer this, and it may be messy, but that's okay. You're conquering it, you're learning it. And the more you do it, the easier it will be. 

[00:12:14] Christopher: One of the best things you can do if you are feeling like, I dunno if I can live up to this, is just start talking to other writers who have gone through the same thing. And what you'll find is that everyone is just as clueless as you are. I can't tell you how many writers' conferences we go to and you'll find so many authors saying, I'm just, I'm not sure how I'm gonna sell my book. I don't know what to do in today's world.

[00:12:39] Christopher: I don't know how I'm going to keep my website updated or finish those blogs. These are all just very common things and you tend to think that everyone else has it figured out because you see the end product. And what you realize as you begin to talk to other writers is that, you know what, we're all in the same place.

[00:12:55] Christopher: And you'll find other writers who are in that exact same place that you are. And then that fear of [[00:13:00] success will tend to go away. 

[00:13:01] Gena: Okay, our last one we're gonna talk about today is time management. The fear of not having enough time to write or finish a project or the fear of procrastination. The fear that you're always putting it off, and boy, I think this is one that I really struggle with.

[00:13:17] Christopher: Every author faces this. This is, there is never enough time, especially if you're a creative person, because you are almost always wanting to go onto that next project. You've, you're writing today's book and you're already thinking about the next book, maybe the next couple. You're writing today's book and you're thinking about how you're gonna market it. You're thinking about just how you're gonna take care of your family and all the things, all the stuff that you've got to do that's very common. The best way to outsmart this writing fear is simply to use some of the techniques that we've talked about before. Use the Pomodoro technique. Make yourself sit down just for 45 minutes or 25 minutes and do your writing, and then take a break and then just do it again.

[00:13:59] Christopher: Every single [00:14:00] day do a little bit. This is not about running a sprint today and finishing your book. This is about running a marathon and it may take you months to get it done, but you know what? If you stick with it, you'll get it done, okay. This is not about saying, oh, I'm gonna do a little bit and then maybe I'll get back to it.

[00:14:19] Christopher: No. It's doing a little bit every day. A little bit every day. And that time management is something that you can absolutely outsmart. Stay focused, search for our podcasts that we've done in the past about beating distraction, about the Pomodoro technique, about just being smart over time.

[00:14:36] Christopher: Because what's amazing is that if you write just, let's say a thousand words a day, or 750 words a day. That's about three pages, right? Over a month, you will have nearly 25 to 30,000 words. Within two months you'll have definitely completed your book, right? Just by doing a little bit every day.

[00:14:59] Gena: And [00:15:00] I do think that this is when we've talked about writing moments, but being a part of writing moments or there are other groups out there that do that where they do co-writing. But being a part of some kind of group where there's accountability that you are expected, and even if that expectation is just you putting it on yourself, but you're expected to show up and do that on a regular basis, it makes a big difference.

[00:15:23] Christopher: It makes a big difference. So today we talked about criticism, about success and about time management. You can beat all those fears just by putting some good tactics into use by knowing that you are not in this alone. Please join us for writing moments. Join us at Writer Con, find writers in your area who can write with you or people online, and you'll find, hey, I can do this thing.

[00:15:48] Christopher: All right, next week we're gonna talk about three more fears. This is the final three, at least for now that we're planning to talk about. We'd love to have you join us between now and then. Please rate, review, subscribe, and share [00:16:00] these podcasts. These podcasts on fears. Share these with other writers that you know can benefit from this because it helps them know that they're not alone too. Until next time, remember that together. 

[[00:16:13] Gena: We have writing momentum. 

[[00:16:15] Christopher: Bye-bye.